The "Better Relationship" Resolution

Right before the new year, I saw a tweet on a fellow therapist's (Dr. Michelle Gannon) Twitter page that read "50% of people report that their New Year's Resolution is to spend more time with family and friends". That's a lot of people. Are you one of them? If so, just like any other resolution you need a plan to be successful. 


First, you need to decide what "more time" means. Does it mean daily, weekly, monthly or 1-2 times this year? Is this face-to-face, talking via Skype, phone calls, emails, text messages? Exactly which family members/friends do you want to spend more time and energy connecting with? For example, you might talk to your mom every other day, but because of distance, not have seen her for 2 years. Or maybe you haven't talked to a good friend in a few months. 


Once those questions are answered, then it's time to take action. Let the people you want more time with know. This will accomplish two things - 
1. They will be pleased as punch that you care about them enough to include them on the list of valued relationships. 
2. It'll hold you accountable to making it happen. Chances are you'll be less flaky if someone is taking you at your word.


Next, put the plans in your calendar. If you're at all like me, if it's not written down, it doesn't happen. So write it down. Who cares if the phone call or coffee date is not spontaneous? You won't forget. The other person will likely reciprocate. Your relationships will get nurtured. You will have made good on your resolution. 


Sound simple? That's because it is. 

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